Is Onion really a canine celebrity?

How do you know if you're living with a real-live celebrity? We had a good think about this, as Onion seems increasingly convinced that's what she is. We concluded that to be part of the celebrity culture you should
1. be in a movie (Onion is in Scenes of a Sexual Nature)
2. have a pop career (Onion appears in A-ha's 'Cosy Prisons' video, see above and YouTube)
3. behave like a diva!
In which case, Onion definitely qualifies. Time to bring out an Onion perfume?!

"I was dubbed!"

If anyone's wondering how Onion was persuaded to run around Tom Hardy barking for her role in Scenes of a Sexual Nature, the simple answer is that she wasn't! She did run towards him because 1. she had been clicker-trained to sniff dropped trousers (it's all true, see the presspack on Onion's website for an in-depth article!) and 2. there was tripe stick liberally scattered about his feet. But she didn't bark. She ran about wagging her tail, happy to be involved in a game with new friend Tom Hardy!
By the magic of cinema, the barking was added later, but the woof was not her own. Despite extensive investigations we have as yet been unable to discover the true identity behind 'the voice of Onion'. What is certain is that Onion has not lost her bark. Asked for her opinion on the red carpet at the premiere, she responded on cue with a loud bark!

Video footage of Onion on the red carpet

Moving pictures of Onion on the red carpet last Sunday! Oh, we're so proud! Thank you, Tinpan Films!

Onion on the Red Carpet!

Onion is now officially a premiere pooch! She is here pictured on the red carpet at the screening of Scenes of a Sexual Nature, the film in which she makes a brief but memorable appearance. She is wearing the fabulous pink collar and lead designed for her by Michelle Alexander, and sitting against the backdrop of Alison Willoughby's bull terrier skirt (inspired by Onion herself).

The film was screened as the finale to London's Raindance Festival, and Onion attended the awards ceremony, the film itself and the after-show party. She was recognised by everyone and much feted, patted and generally adored! It was an exhausting night, and by the end she lay snoring on the sofa!

For more about the film see www.scenesofasexualnature.co.uk
For more about textile artist Alison Willoughby and her skirts see www.alisonwilloughby.com

Pampering?

There are few things Onion dislikes more than a bath. In fact, she fights so hard to escape this indignity that it has become unsafe to bath her indoors (all that soapy scrabbling about in the tub was liable to cause injury to Onion or owners). But much must be sacrificed in the name of celebrity, and Onion had to endure a thorough wash last night (after the great collar adventure) in preparation for tonight’s film premiere. You can see how much she enjoyed it...
The bath aftermath, however, being towelled down and wrapped, spa-style, in a clean towel, is far more to Onion’s taste, dog diva that she is! So now she is sweet-smelling and couture-collared, the only question is whether she will behave like a perfect pooch at tonight’s premiere and party. Wish us luck...

Onion’s Knight in Shining Armour

Yesterday evening it looked as though Onion would be denied her bespoke pink leather collar. Designer Michelle Alexander had been up all hours completing it, but fate and the post office timetable conspired against us. The couture collar was in Newcastle, the Scenes of a Sexual Nature premiere in London. What to do? A phone-round of couriers proved fruitless; the film company, always supportive of their canine mini-star, checked the guest list, but no one was travelling from Newcastle for Sunday’s screening. Onion would have to wear her everyday off-the-peg collar for the big night.

Then a last-ditch plan was hatched. Michelle volunteered to go to the railway station in the hope of finding a modern-day knight in shining armour to save Onion’s day. In an age when people are justifiably suspicious of packages, it is all credit to Michelle that she was able to explain our plight and persuade a stranger to act as courier for a dog! And thanks to Charlie, the handsome stranger (see photo!) who agreed to accept the mission, CinderOnion not only gets to go to the ball, she also gets to look fabulous (dahling)!

A CANINE CELEBRITY

There was always a chance that, overnight, my actor-boyfriend would hit the big time and I would find myself co-habiting with a celebrity. Strangely enough, Fame has indeed visited our home, but the stardust has fallen not on the boyfriend - who is currently "between parts" - but on the dog, Onion.

When the boyfriend secured a role as "Jogger with Dog" in a Ewan McGregor movie, it seemed natural that he jog with his own dog. Better the devil you know. As the filming date approached, however, the message came that the "Jogger" was surplus to requirements. But could they still have "Dog"? We had entertained no celluloid aspirations for Onion, a miniature bull terrier with characteristic Roman nose but, drawn by the prospect of a summer's day on Hampstead Heath as dog wranglers, we accepted, the boyfriend's ego only mildly bruised by his change in role.

Onion performed her part - sniffing round sexy half-naked actor Tom Hardy (Elizabeth I's lust interest in TV's The Virgin Queen, see image) - with aplomb and was seconded for a further scene, which graces the credits of Scenes of a Sexual Nature, due in cinemas on 3 November.

Inspired by Onion’s silver-screen success, the boyfriend recruited an animal agent. Within weeks, Onion was a "pop bitch", appearing in the video for "Cosy Prisons" by eighties pop band A-ha, sung to her by chisel-cheekboned lead singer and one-time heartthrob Morten Harket.

So it's official, we are living with a minor canine star. Onion's diary is filling up: she has sat for a sculptor, has a website, a modelling contract, and is invited to the movie's premiere on Sunday 8th October... So after years at drama school and surviving the penurious existence of an actor, the boyfriend is finally living the celebrity life - as a plus-one to his dog!

NEXT BLOG: Read about how Onion is kitted out for the premiere, Oscars-style.